There are two types of people in this world: those I like and those I don’t like. Stan* is one of the people I want to introduce to Jenny Schecter. Why would I want to ruin this poor guy’s life, you ask? Because he ruined mine, that’s why. You see, Stan is the new manager at my local pub and he is obviously missing something vital in his head, like I don’t know maybe his cerebral cortex. Why? Because yesterday the fucking genius got rid of the pool table.
Now I don’t know on what planet he thinks this was a good idea because from where I’m standing it’s the stupidest fucking idea I have ever had the displeasure of hearing about. He thinks by removing the pool table and adding two extra tables of the chair accompanying kind, the pub will make more money. Um, what? Now, I am friends with 95% of the bar staff and they tell me the pool table brings in about £200 a week. I know for a fact that my friends and I contribute greatly to that sum. How much more money exactly does he think two measly tables are going to make? HUH STAN, YOU FUCKTARD?! THE PUB DOESN’T EVEN GET FULL UNLESS IT’S THE WEEKEND YOU MOTHERFUCKER.
Not only did Stan get rid of the pool table but he is also planning on getting rid of the quiz machine. All the staff hate him and now I HATE HIM TOO. My friends who work at the pub were going to warn me of when he was planning to get rid of the pool table so we could all go and protest, BUT HE DIDN’T EVEN TELL THEM. HE JUST DID IT. MOTHERSUCKINGFUCKER!
I hate you Stan. I’m going to pretend to be Phoebe and sing outside the pub now so all the customers leave. YEAH.
* Real name changed at the request of my lawyer. :p
Last week I created a facebook group expressing my dislike for the plans to remove the pool table. I just got a text from one of my friends who works in the pub, saying: “Hey, I would suggest closing the save the pool table group on facebook. Stan knows about the group and he is not happy about it! x” WELL Stan, I’M NOT HAPPY ABOUT YOUR FACE.
OMG! That’s insane! Definitely introduce him to Psycho Jenny. They’ll get on great.
Sounds like a stupid decision to me. I would hazard a guess that those who use the pool table aren’t going to go to the pub and sit around drinking whilst staring at the wall, so they’ll probably find another pub with a pool table. So, he will lose the revenue from the pool as well as from the drinks people have while playing.
Way to go dumbass!
That really is stupid! I am crap at pool but I always love playing it because pool, a few beers and some friends is about the best time you can have in a pub.
I love the wikipediea article on Jenny especially “In a recent poll of fans of the show, Jenny was voted the most hated on the series, owing to her tendency to cheat on lovers and get upset whenever someone does it to her.”
Actually no, she is hated because she is bat shit crazy, murders dogs to stalk the gf of someone who wrote bad things about her, narcissistic and..well..did I mention bat shit crazy?!
Sorry rant over
Stupid Dan
Pub=Pool table. Seriously, the pool table is one of the MAIN things in a pub! Screw the beer, the pool table is where it’s at
. Wow he really is ignorant about his own business!
Wow, this guy sounds like a complete idiot!