open letter
Dear Channel 5,
Thanks a fucking lot for ruining Neighbours 30 seconds before it started with your stupid fucking commentary. Your channel is shit, your presenters are shit, and all the shows you show (except Neighbours and CSI) are shit. Go fuck yourselves.
Dear Oprah Winfrey,
“Oprah Winfrey plans to dedicate Friday’s episode of her daytime TV talker to her beloved Cocker Spaniel, Sophie, who died last month from kidney failure.”
No one cares. (Except Elizabeth who wants to bum you).
Dear Perez Hilton,
Stop referring to yourself in the plural. It’s getting fucking old.
Dear people who can’t spell,
You see those red lines under all those words you just typed? They aren’t there for fucking decoration.
Dear Madonna,
Your songs are shit, your dancing is shit, your face is shit. Why are you still here?
Dear Republicans,
Fuck off.
Dear Angelina Jolie,
Fuck me.
8 Comments, Comment or Ping
Rachael
Those little red lines in Safari are trying to tell me I’m not spelling “Rachael” properly.
And… you forgot to mention that channel five have put ADVERTS in the middle of neighbours! That’s not right! :O
Apr 2nd, 2008
Elizabeth
Lmao.
Angelina is too busy fucking me.
And don’t be mean about Oprah and her poor doggy.
Apr 2nd, 2008
Jem
Ch5 did that with a well-anticipated CSI episode not long back.
Fucking cunt hobags.
Apr 2nd, 2008
Amber
I always seem to miss Neighbours these days — I still think it’s on at 5.35 so I miss the first 5 minutes on CH5 and because they have their ad breaks early it’s all really confusing. :S
Apr 2nd, 2008
Tracy
hehe
Apr 2nd, 2008
Yara
Dear Perez Hilton,
Stop being so slow, update more…
I heard that Heidi Montag, from The Hills is now supporting the Republicans
I don’t like the Republicans OR Heidi!
Apr 2nd, 2008
Debbie
I can’t get used to channel 5 and Neighbours, it’s just so wrong.
Your final Dear made me laugh. Keep dreamin’..I know I do.
Apr 2nd, 2008
Kiera
B-but I like Madonna! Sure, she can’t sing, or act, or embrace the fact she’s half a century old .
Apr 7th, 2008
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